Marriage

Today is my 34th wedding anniversary.  I can honestly say that my husband is my best friend. He is the only person I feel totally comfortable with.  He knows what I need without me speaking.  He knows when I am happy and when I am sad.  I can tell him anything and he will not judge me. I love this man with all my heart.  Happy anniversary Steve.

Being Vunerable

When I entered the workforce in 1980 women were expected to act like men. They even dressed like men with expensive suits from Jos. A Bank.  We even wore a tie just like men.  This was so confusing for women like me who were raised by stay at home mothers.  Unlike my male counterparts I had no role model for how to survive in this strange world of work. I felt very unsure of myself and eventually left the cut throat public accounting world to work in a place that felt more comfortable. All throughout my career I was afraid that people would find me out.  I didn't know enough, I wasn't working hard enough, I wasn't worth what I was paid.  I could not ask questions for fear someone would be on to me.  I finally realized that it is o.k. to be vulnerable.  It makes you a better employee and a more likable person. I am no longer afraid to admit I don't know something or I am nervous about something.  I hope I can set an example for other women.  We can be ourselves and don't have to be like men if that is not our nature.

The Voice in My Head

I was reading a book yesterday that discussed the voice in your head.  I have a very negative voice in my head.  Always telling me I need to be more, do more, have more, etc.  The trick is that you have to learn to treat that negative voice in your head like it is a third party. Pretend it is not connected to you. It is hard to do.  Just remember, the voice in your head is not real.  You are much more than the voice.  I wonder if you treat the voice in your head like a small child, providing comfort, encouragement and love if it would start saying wonderful things instead of putting you down.  I think I may try that today.

Live like a Three Year Old.

I spent the day with my three year old granddaughter Kaelyn yesterday.  This is always a wonderful experience because she is so thrilled to do any activity.  I wish I could get that excitement back. Live life as a three year old.  To them every experience is new and exciting.  Every task is work repeating to see if it can be done differently.  It does not matter if you are good at something, there is no judgement. They don't care what others think.  Let's try to get back to our true nature and work on doing things just to enjoy the process and try new things. Let's stop worrying about whether someone will think you are weird for doing what you are doing.  Its not their life, its not their experience, its yours. If you want to try something don't let other peoples opinions stop you. Jump in and do it. Start having fun today!